PURPLE FLUID

i remember some one said in my lower classes that red + blue = purple.. so dont know what made me write this sort of poem in strikes of mid-night that was so unrealistic..! Now that i feel to b betrayed and being left out at the other corner of the world the liquid that flows in my nerves doesnt seem just to be blood.. it also intoxicates me as the time passes by and hence when i tried to know.. i had no other way than to cut my nerves and actually look for whats flowing inside.. n to my relief.. it wasn't blood.. it was something more flashy n more voracious.. like poison mixed with my hemoglobin... making that look like PURPLE... now i feel senseless.. and more exposed to bitter truths n facts.. i believe that i m still myself. i m still ŦĦĔ ĒжряēśŝĬőиĨşŦ.

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***** PURPLE FLUID *****

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I don’t want you to look at me

I am bleeding at every point

Trying to recover all those stabs

Pain overshadowing my mind.

They say, venom is blue

And blood that flows reflects red

In my nerves, I feel the run

Your breaths everywhere spread.

I am grown, I am fine

The steps of love were stupid

I cut down my nerves to see what’s inside

I smile, I see Purple Fluid.

DEATH OF DESIRES

now what you think when none of ur desires get fulfilled....? u tend to save some... n kill some !
with teary eyes u do that u never wanted to do in ur life... every turn of your life have some anguish and despair... and you look towards them with hungry hearts... but situations are so that u cry your lungs out.. n then brutally murder whatever you have thought earlier.. i m raged.. n have tried to put down what i felt..

have patience... n tolerate ME...

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***** DEATH OF DESIRES *****
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Like every human I had some dreams
Years after, now turned to screams
My reflection pointing me to say
The time devil catching you as prey.

Holding the patience in my heart below
Looking for a moment, a position to grow
Some efforts, some accomplishments
There is some fact you need to know.

With every breath and sense marking your presence
I have felt you, smelt your essence
I see my soul as ashes after fires
Still can’t explain, I suffered Death of Desires.

NOTHING SPECIAL

ok... now this was the time i was feeling so lonely that when i sat beside my window, i saw some drops of water falling from d roofs.. and making some swirlings in the eyes that was magnamanous to watch.. i remeber the day.. when we were out for a dinner.. 6 friends of us.. n that day i encountered the real desire that a human can have.. n i wud b a fool to say that i never lusted her.. but heart had a language of his own at that time.

now the time has traveled a mega-zillion of seconds to again bring in some harsh memories of her.. n lemme say u.. i still crave for her but the scratches of the past are still visible.. as d people say.. i still look amazed.. i still look lost.. but one expression they always fail to notice is that.. this time i m full of hatred only... !!

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--- NOTHING SPECIAL ---

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Slipped a second, no one there

I just can’t say, for truth, no one care

All these days, whatever were my deeds

At last moment I felt were not your needs.

Blood on the edge of my eye

Black seemed the whole day-sky

Nerves bursting out, something screaming

Storms in head, I feel hard breathing!

Someone pulling beneath the earth

My fingers stretched, a friend no worth

Scratching the flesh, removing a surface

I felt relaxed, the past on my mind, now not traced.

Pushed, ignored, many times one sided

Vocals teared, one thing I decided..!

Don’t care for any other people

In my life your place is like, NOTHING SPECIAL.

VENOM ON ICE..

now what do you do.. when ur heart is seeking for a death but when u really dont wanna die..?

same was with me when i was just over with that relationship.. i wanted to kill myself.. but slowly.. i never thought of such a disgusting phase that my eyes would let me see..

it was a time when actually i hated them who dealt with a support to carry on their lives.. but now i see myself as an addicted poison lover that inhales it slowly with every moment he bears on this earth...

i wake up with it.. i consume it.. i keep still.. my eyes drool, i dont feel normal.. i knw i m doing mistake.. but i think this is d only aid that can let me suffer all d pain.. so i consume more... n i loose my hold on what i say.. what i hear n what i think...

n i feel soul-less and a dead soul doesn't feel pain..

cheers..!

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---VENOM ON ICE---

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Everytime my eyelids open

See a glass on my side.

I crave for few more drops

The thirst within, every moment rise.

The blend of tears and pain

Running through my every vein

Poisoned me, my eyes show blue

But efforts for you were always true.

With throbbing heart, I pour in the liquid

Standing with disgrace, being a stone rigid.

It burns me from inside, turning all to ashes

Alas, no one understands, their eye stare & watches.

It was a sin, now I am paying the price

That’s why I search every moment, Venom on Ice .

DESPAIRED

A song.. that comes into my mind when ever i see this flower bearing the colour my blood..

RED.. as attractive as my lavish beauty was.. she was RED.. the brightness of my life.. my youth always wanted her to b its part but destinies are always destined as the elders say...

with me as an open book that thorny particle piercing through my pages reaches to that part of my life that makes me sustainable in this world..

she has all the imprints of hers in my every turn. my efforts were for her.. all these imaginations were never so true until unless my blood made that RED more fiercer than ever before...

now.. my soul sings a new song every time it recalls her.. a memory that brings in some anguish but the words acoompanied are DESPAIRED....

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---DESPAIRED---
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Hopping down the streets of hope
My life just feels despaired.
My longings for you every night
My heart just feels despaired.

Every breath that takes your name
My sense now feels despaired.
Every touch that my body miss
My soul now feels despaired.

From the edge of world, when I see all around
My sight just feels despaired
Still some moments, with you I haven’t shared
My feelings now feel Despaired.

PERSONA DIGNIFIED

i wudnt say that i m different but i have a charisma of my own that dignifies me from the world around.. this is a thought put down by me when i was facing a great struugle to make my name shine as bright as sun.... 

when the world is at your feet.. u feel u are at the top.. but they are actually to pull your feet.. so whenever that happened to me.. i took it in another way... like their level upto my feet only... i m diverting from my ways.. i need to focus n b clear of what i say.. i mumble up words when i express myself... but its ME.. and in front of u stands ME only..

i m my-self...!

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--- PERSONA DIGNIFIED ---

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Acting as an individual alone
Over the years I feel I’ve grown
No signs of failure are shown
Step – by – step I’m heading for my throne.

Pressure building every moment
The havoc of time being dormant
Cast, creed, religion all I faced
Paths, with blood below my feet, always traced.

Thorns piercing, forcing me to cry
Broken bones, still crawling knees I find
May be shocked, they are left horrified
Such is the glare of my eyes, I’ve Persona Dignified.